Sugar for the Pill
by skinnylove357
Summary: Sanosi is gone, leaving Dylan Keogh an emotional wreck. Dylan is shattered and turns to alcohol to solve his problems. David soon finds out though that there is more troubling his friend and that alcohol isn't the only thing Dylan is turning towards to numb his pain. David attempts to find out what is troubling Dylan. Trigger warnings for alcohol/drug abuse and panic attacks.
1. Chapter 1

Sugar For The Pill

Chapter One

David awoke with a jolt as his alarm went off. The display on his clock was flashing 5:30 a.m. He was on early shift today in the ED. He lay for a while just thinking to himself. To say that he had only just woken up he felt extremely tired in fact, he was looking forward to finishing his shift so he could flop straight back into bed. He put his lethargy down to the fact that he had struggled to get any sleep, as he was worried about Dylan.

His colleague, and friend, had seemed utterly broken when he saw him yesterday evening at his houseboat. David didn't really want to leave Dylan on his own last night, but the doctor was adamant, so rather hesitantly David went home. It wasn't that David didn't care for the boy, far from it, but he knew that what was best for Sanosi and what Dylan thought was best for Sanosi were two completely different things. It was clear to David that Dylan had become emotionally attached and couldn't bring himself to let go but in the nurse's mind it was just ridiculous to even contemplate Sanosi living his life trapped away with only Dervla and a box of video games for company.

Bringing himself back to the present moment, David hurriedly got out of bed, pulled his dressing gown on and went to make some breakfast. He quite fancied pancakes, but the nurse had not had the heart to make them ever since Olly had left seeing as they used to make them together. So instead, he poured himself a bowl of Cheerios and added some milk. He popped the radio on and sat himself down at his kitchen table to eat them. David had become accustomed to eating on his own like this, but it had taken some time to come to terms to with the fact that Olly was no longer living with him and he had initially struggled when he had been released from hospital. He felt a pang of guilt as he thought of Dylan being alone on his boat. The doctor acted as if he couldn't care less that it was now just him and Dervla back on his boat again, but David saw straight through him.

David finished off his cereals and looked up at the clock. It was now 6:00a.m. He ran upstairs to have a quick shower and get himself changed. The nurse just about managed to get his hair to flatten down (only through using a fair amount of hair gel). He pulled his trousers, shirt and waistcoat on and ran downstairs to get his shoes on. He almost forgot his flat cap but quickly remembered it and, after pushing it down firmly on his head, he threw his long black coat on and left for work, locking his door behind him.

The air was quiet and still as David walked down his garden path. It was still dark at this time in the morning and it seemed even darker this morning, probably because the clocks went back at the weekend. David found his walks to work quite relaxing, particularly when he was on the early shifts. It was like the rest of the world had not yet awoken and the hustle and bustle of everyday life was a million miles away. It was quite misty this morning and as David walked along the pavement, the crisp leaves that had fallen from the trees were crunching underneath his feet. He shoved his hands deeper inside his pockets and started to walk at a slightly faster pace as the cool air cut through his clothes and straight to his bones.

David made a conscious decision to walk the longer way to work as it meant that he could walk past the marina and therefore potentially see Dylan. He had been walking this way for the past couple of months as he often found himself on the same shifts as Dylan so he would walk and pick Dylan up from his boat and they would continue the walk together. It was probably a sign of how far their friendship had come that Dylan (who wouldn't engage in conversation with many people) would often talk David's ear off about several different topics. David was happy to just listen and get a word in wherever possible. David smiled to himself as he remembered the time when Dylan had forgotten his stethoscope and ran, at a full sprint, to the boat and back. David had insisted that he would have been able to borrow one from the ED but Dylan was having none of it. David thought that this was probably something to do with his friends OCD.

David was now level with the marina. The sun was starting to rise and he could see the reflections flickering slightly on the still water. His eyes glazed over the moored boats and picked out Dylan's. He found it odd that the lights were on. Dylan was definitely on the rota for today's shift and after the conversation that had taken place last night; David knew they would not be walking to work together this morning. However, David was running a bit late and he knew that Dylan would have left by know if he wasn't waiting for David. The nurse glanced down quickly at his watch, he could probably spare a few minutes to go and have a nosey and check on Dylan, he was sure that Robyn would cover for him if Mrs. Beauchamp started asking questions. David wandered down towards his friend's boat. As he drew level he realised that the curtains were shut (rather unlike Dylan as he liked to let the natural light in) and he couldn't hear any noise from inside. He leaned forward and knocked three times on the wooden door.

'Dylan' he shouted.

'Dylan, it's me. Are you coming in today?'

David strained his ears and waited a few seconds for any kind of reply but was greeted with no response. Just as he was about to knock again he noticed one of Dylan's neighbours coming back from an early morning run. The neighbour smiled and jogged over to David when he saw him lingering near Dylan's boat.

'You after Dylan?' he questioned David still slightly out of breath from his run.

'Yes. I don't suppose you've seen him?' David replied, almost nervous to hear the response.

'I saw him come in from the shops at about 11 last night. I thought he was having a party!' The man gave a slight chuckle as he said this.

David looked at him in a confused way.

'Sorry. What do you mean you thought he was having a party?' asked David.

'Well he had about 10 bottles of booze in his shopping bag, thought it must have been a get together for all you guys at the hospital.'

David gave a bemused smile.

'Well I'll see you around anyway.' The neighbour continued the short jog back to his boat.

David felt his heart drop and suddenly felt quite sick. He didn't know much about his friends past but Dylan had alluded to the fact that there was a reason why he no longer drank alcohol. The thought of Dylan arriving back at the boat with a bag full of alcohol made David start to panic, he knew damn well that Dylan would not be throwing any kind of party and he was pretty sure that the alcohol was not for Dervla. He gave one last knock at the door, but after being faced with yet another stony silence David decided that if the doctor did not show for his shift today he would have to come back after work.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

David arrived at the ED with just a few minutes to spare. He made his way past the waiting area and headed towards the staffroom. The smell of coffee hit him as soon as he opened the door and Jacob handed a steaming cup over to David after he had put his things in his locker.

'You look like you need it' Jacob said to David as he handed the cup over.

David gave a wry smile.

'Just not a good night sleep that's all.' He replied to the clinical nurse manager.

'Well I need you on top form today David, we have a new F1 starting and that means us nurses are going to have to watch him like a hawk.'

Jacob clapped David on the back and gave him a wink as he left the staff room. David took a sip of the coffee he had just been handed, the last thing he needed was a new F1 starting, particularly when his main concern was one of the ED's consultants. Louise had just walked into the staff room, already looking stressed. She looked over at David as she went over to the fridge.

'No Dylan then?' She asked.

David shook his head.

Louise did not often show emotion, but David could have sworn he saw a flicker of concern cross his colleagues face.

'Well he hasn't rung in yet, I heard Mrs Beauchamp asking Noel just now, maybe he's just running late.' She tried to sound hopeful as she said this, but David could see straight through her.

'We'll have to see.' He replied and draining the last few dregs of his coffee, he walked out to start his shift.

David walked into the waiting area to call for his first patient.

'Oh David! Have you got a minute?' Noel, the receptionist had just leant over his desk as David headed over to the waiting patients. David went over to him. He liked Noel and always had a lot of time for him, he did a lot of work that often went (unfairly in David's opinion) unnoticed.

'What can I do for you Noel?' David asked.

Noel replied 'Well, err this is our new F1, Doctor Rashid Masum.' The receptionist pointed over to a man sat on one of the chairs in the waiting area. As he saw David and Noel looking over to him, the young doctor sprang out of his chair and walked over to the desk. David knew that it was probably a sign of his age that he thought this F1 looked about 15 in his eyes. Bright eyed and unaware of what was going to hit him. David held out his hand and the F1 shook it with some enthusiasm.

'I'm David Hide; I'll take you to meet our clinical lead so you can get settled in.'

'Cool, that's great, hey do you reckon I'll be in resus today? Maybe get to do a few procedures?' The young doctor asked eagerly. David and Noel looked at each other and gave a small grin. They had both seen this before and would never be surprised at how invincible new doctors thought they were.

David took Rash to Connie's office and left him there as they had a few things to discuss. As he turned around and headed back to the nurse's station something he saw made him stop dead in his tracks. The nurse thought he had seen a flash of ginger hair sneaking into the staff room. He immediately headed towards the staff room and opened the door. Dylan was stood leaning against the open door of his locker. His face hidden from view. The consultant didn't even flinch as David opened the door and shut it behind him. David struggled to find what to say, he hadn't even seen his friends face but he could tell he was a broken man just from his posture. There was a silence that seemed to last for a lifetime, all that the two men could hear was the noise from the ED department. Surprisingly, Dylan spoke first.

'Are you just going to stand there staring at me all day then?' he said to David.

David noticed how hoarse his voice was and how different it was to his normal authoritative tone that the doctor normally used. Dylan still didn't turn round to face the nurse.

'Well I'm not going to stand and talk to your back.' David replied harshly.

Dylan shoved a packet (David couldn't see what it was) into his trouser pocket and shut his locker. He then turned around. The doctor couldn't bring himself to look at the nurse stood in front of him. Instead, Dylan looked at the floor and shifted his weight around, almost as if he was nervous about something.

David looked at his friend and felt a pang of guilt, yet again, because he didn't stay with Dylan last night. The doctor had bags under his eyes and they were extremely bloodshot. His usually crisp clean shirt was crumpled as if he had pulled it off the floor and put it on and the doctor did not have his stethoscope around his neck.

'Where's your stethoscope?' David asked Dylan curiously.

'Forgot it.' Dylan replied quickly.

This immediately rang alarm bells in David's head. It might have seemed something trivial but as David had recalled earlier in the morning, the consultant would never come to work without his own stethoscope.

'Oh right, did you not nip back for it?' David enquired.

'No of course I didn't. In case you haven't noticed David, I'm already late and you stood here asking trivial questions is, quite frankly, boring and not at all helpful.' Dylan responded raising his voice ever so slightly.

The way that Dylan raised his voice roused something in David and he got straight to the point. He felt that it was the only way to get through to his friend. He moved closer to the doctor who was now leaning against the row of lockers. It was if he was struggling to stand up properly.

'Look, I know how hard it was for you to let the boy go. I know what you're going throu-'

'No David! You have no idea! So stop pretending you can help me. Because you can't.' Dylan raised his voice again.

David tried to remain as calm as possible but as he spoke, his voice shook ever so slightly. He, again, moved closer to Dylan so they were now only arm's length apart.

'Dylan. Why did you take that much alcohol back to the boat with you last night?'

For the first time throughout the whole conversation, Dylan looked up into David's eyes. The doctor was in shock. David sensed that Dylan was struggling for words so he pressed on.

'I saw one of your neighbours this morning. They saw you come back from the shops.' David spoke a bit more gently this time.

'I didn't realise you had people spying on me David.' Dylan said dryly.

This remark riled David.

'Dylan! This is serious you need to get your act together. You might be able to go on like this for a while, but it's going to come back around and bite you.'

The doctor took one last look at David and went to walk out of the room, but David tried to stop him by pulling him back by his shoulder. They struggled together for a minute or two as they tried to push against each other. Neither willing to give up.

'Get off of me David!' Dylan shouted as he pushed the nurse forcefully into the lockers. The consultant then stormed out of the staff room and slammed the door shut.

David had been winded by the forceful push that Dylan had given him and stood for a minute trying to get his breath back. He was seriously hoping that no one had seen what had just happened as it would only raise more questions. After the nurse had got his breath back, he headed towards the door but noticed there was a packet of tablets on the floor. He remembered that Dylan had put a packet into his trouser pocket as he shut his locker earlier. The nurse bent down and picked them up. David, who was expecting them to be normal painkillers, was shocked when he read the label.

'Tramadol'

David's heart raced. Tramadol was a very strong painkiller and Dylan would not be taking it just for a hangover. He also knew that they had to be prescribed by a doctor, and the signature looked very similar to Dylan's. David placed the tablets in his locker and hurried to carry on with his shift. His mind, and heart, racing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:**

Just a quick note to say basically this story is going in a completely different direction to the way Dylan's alcohol story has gone on the show. Partly because I always imagined David being the one who was worried about Dylan and wanted to help him. So yeah, anyway this is a short chapter but hope you enjoy!

 **Chapter Three**

David and Dylan hardly crossed paths for the remainder of their shift. This was partly down to the fact that David had been tasked with working cubicles and Dylan was in Resus. However, David couldn't help but notice that the doctor seemed to be avoiding him at all costs.

The end of the shift finally came. It had been fairly busy and David was looking forward to getting home. He had promised to go for a drink with Rash to celebrate the F1's first shift. The nurse made his way from the nurses station, where he was just finishing a discharge form for his last patient, and headed over to the staff room. David opened up his locker and placed his ID badge and pen on the shelf next to his picture of Olly from the school production. The nurse smiled to himself and then glanced down to the bottom section of his locker. Staring back at him was the packet of tramadol that he had picked up earlier after his argument with Dylan. David quickly looked around making sure there was no one else in the staff room and slipped the tablets into his shoulder bag. He had decided that he would keep them with him rather than leaving them in the hospital. He knew that if someone were to get hold of them, then questions would definitely be asked. The nurse sighed to himself and closed his locker. Picking up his bag he went to quickly get changed and met Rash and Alicia at reception where they went onwards for their drinks.

David had enjoyed having a few drinks with Rash and Alicia and it was certainly nice to see the new doctor settling in, however David's thoughts were often elsewhere. His concern for Dylan had grown steadily throughout the day but had reached a peak when he picked up the tablets. David liked to think that he was quite a good reader of people and could often sense what was troubling them. However, Dylan was like a closed book. The consultant had cut himself off from everyone and David could not figure out why he would be self-prescribing painkillers. After his third glass of orange juice, David decided to call it a night. He said his goodbyes and stepped outside into the night.

The nurse had a gentle walk home, his long coat wrapped tightly around him to try to keep the breeze out. He had considered going home via the marina but had thought better of the idea. He would keep a watch on Dylan for now at work but would not get further involved; unless it was vital. David knew better than anyone did that there is only so much you can do to help somebody, they have to want it themselves as well. It just started to rain as David walked down towards his front door and the wind had definitely picked up. He let himself in his house and made himself a cup of tea and watched a bit of telly, David really didn't understand what was going on, he missed Olly greatly at times like this. After draining the last drops of tea, he went upstairs and ran himself a bath, hoping it would help relax him after the day. As he lay there with bubbles surrounding him, David heard the wind whistling round the house. There is definitely a storm coming the nurse thought to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Weeks had passed since David had discovered Dylan was taking tramadol. The nurse was still no nearer to finding out why. David barely saw Dylan anymore, they were on different shift patterns and whenever they crossed paths Dylan simply put his head down and walked on. So it came as a slight shock on a cold and wet Wednesday morning when Dylan walked through the staff room door.

David had been sat on the sofa chatting to Ethan about his consultancy exam that was coming up in a few days, but had looked up when he noticed Dylan walking towards his locker. He might have been mistaken but he could have sworn that Dylan was limping ever so slightly. Ethan declared that it was the end of his break and left the staff room, leaving David and Dylan the only ones in there. The silence seemed to go on for a lifetime, with neither of the two men talking. It was almost making David feel claustrophobic. Dylan had walked over to the fridge when David spoke.

'How are you?' the nurse asked softly.

'Fine.' Dylan replied abruptly.

The doctor bent down as he went to put his pack up in the fridge and as he got up a flicker of pain momentarily crossed his face. David thought better than to bring it up so pretended he had not noticed.

'Haven't seen you for a few weeks.' David attempted to make conversation again.

'I swapped to night shifts for a while.' The doctor stated.

Before David could respond Louise crashed through the door.

'We've got a 25 year old man coming in with a stab wound to the abdomen. ETA 2 minutes'. Louise stated clearly and succinctly to Dylan and David who were both working in resus today.

Dylan nodded his head in recognition and Louise left as quickly as she had arrived. David looked over at Dylan who had just placed his arms out on the kitchen worktop to steady himself. The nurse hoped with all his heart that the stabbing wasn't as bad as Louise's voice had made it sound.

Dylan and David both walked out of the staff room together. Instinctively they both walked towards the entrance of the E.D to meet their patient. Despite how many years David had been working as a nurse in an emergency department he was always surprised at how much people could bleed. As they came level with the patient the nurse was slightly taken aback at how much blood there was all over the patient and all over Iain. The team, led by Dylan, walked through to resus and Iain gave them the details.

'Right this is Callum Wilson, he was involved in a fight at approximately 10:30 this morning.'

'Someone bring a knife to this fight then?' David asked as the group pushed through the resus doors.

Iain gave him a knowing look.

'Caught up in some gang stuff I think, anyway he is tachycardic at 120, resps are 26 and his blood pressure has been dropping whilst we have been on route, currently at 96/70'. Iain passed the handover sheet to David and then the team placed Callum onto the bed. Dylan got to work immediately.

'Right, there's a lot of blood in this abdomen so can we cross match for six units please. Can someone call theatre and tell them this is a priority'. Dylan stated.

David looked at the doctor whose white shirt was covered in blood. Dylan placed his hands over the wound to try to stem some of the bleeding. The doctor was clearly having no luck. No matter how much he pressed down the bleeding would not stop.

'David, get some oxygen on him please, he's not responding to any pain stimulus' Dylan said, a worried look creeping on his face. Almost like this had happened before.

David hurried over and placed oxygen on the young man. He then looked at Dylan who was now trying to find the main source of the internal injuries. The nurse noticed a slight shake in the doctors hand as he was holding the ultra-sound to look for the internal bleeding. There was also sweat forming on Dylan's forehead.

The doctor spoke again but sounded breathless as he did so.

'Right, we err, we need to get him to theatre now, I can't see what I'm doing. There's just too much blood.'

Suddenly, the familiar chorus of beeps started sounding. David immediately looked over to the monitors.

'He's crashing, there's no output.' The nurse said.

'Right, I'll start CPR and can someone please call theatre again' Dylan responded, the panic in his voice becoming more and more obvious to David who was starting to worry about his friend.

The resus team battled on for a further twenty minutes but Callum had lost too much blood. David looked up towards Dylan who was still performing CPR.

'We have to stop, he's gone.'

'No, we can still keep going.' Dylan responded defiantly.

David looked up to ceiling in frustration. Then spoke again.

'Dylan. There's nothing more we can do' the nurse spoke gently.

Dylan looked up towards David. His breathing was increased and sweat was dripping onto his bloody shirt. The doctor took his gloves off and called the time of death. He then stormed out of resus. David quickly followed behind the doctor, but Dylan was so keen to get away that David lost track of where he had gone. After wandering around a while, David stepped into the on-call room. It was dark, the curtains were drawn over, but he saw the outline of Dylan sat on the sofa. The doctor's body was shaking.


	5. Chapter 5

**Note:**

Just wanted to say thank you for all the lovely reviews so far! It honestly means so much, especially as it is my first time writing anything like this!

This chapter contains description of a panic attack, so if that's not for you then please don't read on!

 **Chapter Five**

David stood at the door for a few seconds. He was unsure of whether to proceed and do what came naturally to him or leave Dylan to suffer through this on his own, after all Dylan was pushing him away. However, it was in David's nature to help and so he walked calmly and sat down on the sofa next to Dylan. Dylan was shaking and hyperventilating. David immediately knew that this was a panic attack, he was sure that Dylan knew what this was too, but being in the midst of a panic attack can cause people to think all sorts of things.

'David-I-can't-breathe-properly.' Dylan tried to get the simple sentence out but his chest was getting tighter. His hands were shaking as he undid a button on his shirt to try to give a feeling of less restriction.

'Dylan, listen to me, you know what this is, you've got to try and control your breathing.' David replied calmly but firmly.

'No-different-this-time. Can't breathe.' Dylan's breath hitched as he tried to speak.

The fear in Dylan's voice caused a slight panic to rise in David. He knew he had to stay calm but he had never seen the doctor like this before. He recalled that Dylan had a panic attack just after Cal's death but David had only seen the aftermath of it. Then it hit David. They had both just lost a young man who had been stabbed, who was called Callum, which sounded quite like Cal. David could have been jumping to conclusions but he did not think he was. The nurse reached out his hand towards Dylan's shaking arm and placed his fingers over Dylan's radial pulse point. It was elevated, which was to be expected. David noticed that Dylan flinched slightly as he did this.

'I'm just taking your pulse. It's ok.' David said softly.

'No-going-to-die-everything-blurry.' Dylan choked on the verge of tears.

The doctor jumped up off the sofa and rubbed his hands through his hair, his blood stained shirt was stuck to him and the stethoscope that usually hung around Dylan's neck fell to the floor as his breathing increased further.

David followed suit and also stood up. He turned to face Dylan and reached his hands to the doctor's shoulders, placing them there gently.

'Right Dylan. You have to follow my breathing. Ok? Breathe in now.' David breathed a deep breath in and noticed Dylan attempting to do the same.

'Ok, good. Now back out again.' The doctor and nurse breathed out together.

'And again.' Said David.

Dylan had placed his hands on David's arms to help steady himself. After a few minutes, the doctor had managed to slow his breathing down. His grip slackening on David's arms as his panic attack started to ebb away. As Dylan put his arms back down by his side David spoke again.

'Sit back down.' He motioned to Dylan and towards a chair.

Dylan looked like he was about to respond but thought better of it at the last second and gently let himself slide into a comfortable old armchair. The chair had belonged to Charlie but when Duffy moved in she had decided it didn't fit in with the décor of their house. That is why it now resided in the on-call room; it was often a point of call for weary doctors to have a snooze in.

As Dylan slumped down, overcome with fatigue, David walked over to the sink and poured a glass of water for the doctor. He walked back over and handed it to Dylan, who took it without saying a word. David sat on the coffee table directly in front of Dylan and looked at his friend in the eye. Dylan could not avoid his gaze. The room was still quite dark, but David could make out the marks where the tears and sweat had rolled down the usually stable doctors face.

'What's going on Dylan?' David asked gently.

Silence. Dylan fiddled with the buttons on his bloodied shirt.

David did not press the issue. He knew that it would only make Dylan feel uptight again.

'Look, I can help you but you have to tell me what's going on. Now that doesn't have to be now. But it needs to be soon, before you do something stupid that you will regret.'

Again, there was a stony silence.

'I know about the tramadol Dylan.' Said David.

Dylan's breath got caught in his throat as David said this. The doctor didn't know how to reply. David went on.

'What's it for?'

'None of your business.' Dylan responded quickly.

David thought to himself for a minute. He couldn't force the issue out of his friend but he needed to know one thing.

'Are you self-prescribing?'

Dylan remained quiet.

'Dr Keogh are you self-prescribing?!' David asked again, but this time the concern and anger started to show in his voice. David did not know why he had called Dylan by his professional title, perhaps to get through to him. It definitely made Dylan notice his friend properly. Dylan sighed and scratched his stubble as he thought of an answer.

'I'm not prescribing for myself David.' Dylan replied.

The doctor opened his mouth again to speak but he quickly closed it and made no effort to allow his thoughts to be heard by someone else. David frowned as Dylan somewhat shut the conversation down. The nurse didn't really know whether to believe his friend however, he was glad that he had some form of discussion with Dylan even if it was for just a few moments. It was the longest amount of time he had spoken to Dylan since Sanosi had left. David leaned over and quickly checked Dylans pulse to make sure it was at his resting level again. Dylan didn't attempt to push his friends hand away and after David was satisfied that Dylan had somewhat recovered from his panic attack the doctor stood up to leave, picking up his stethoscope and placing it round his neck as he did so. David remained sat on the coffee table.

'I'd go and pull a spare set of scrubs on for the rest of the day if I was you.' David turned his head and spoke to Dylan as he was leaving the room. Dylan acknowledged David's comment and nodded his head.

'Please speak to someone Dylan, if not me then someone else.' David spoke this just as Dylan was in the doorway. Dylan stopped in his tracks and turned to look at David. He opened his mouth to speak, looked at David one last time and then left the room; leaving David sat starting into the empty corridor. David cradled his head in his hands, he knew Dylan had been lying to him but now was not the time to question his friend and colleague further. If Dylan did not want help then there was nothing more David could do.

David stood up from the coffee table and felt drained of energy; it was exhausting watching someone he deeply cared about suffering. As he went to leave the room he thought of the conversation he and Dylan had when he was about to be sectioned.

'Actively seek support before support actively seeks you.'

That is what Dylan had told David. As David shut the on call room door behind him, he found himself praying to a God that he was not entirely sure he believed in. However, this was a time of great desperation. The nurse turned the lock in the door and prayed that Dylan would follow his own advice.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

'You look rough.'

Louise called across the staff room to David who was sat minding his own business on the sofa. David nodded his head and smiled at her.

'Just been one of those days.' He replied.

Louise nodded her head in understanding; she walked over and joined David on the sofa. David knew Louise well enough by now to know that a lecture was coming his way. He could tell by the look in her eye and the slight smirk she held on her face. Even if David did not want to know what was coming next she was definitely going to tell him anyway.

'What the hell is going on with you and Dylan? You've hardly spoken to him since France. It's becoming a nightmare when you're both working together.'

Although David had been expecting a lecture of some sort, he had not prepared himself for this sudden outburst. It was at times like this when his shyness started to come to the forefront again. He did not feel intimidated by Louise, but would rather just keep quiet about the issue, particularly after what Dylan had gone through that very morning. Louise carried on.

'Look, whatever it is you need to sort it out, it's clearly having an impact and if you want my advice-' David didn't- 'you'll sort it out now before everyone in here finds out. You know what it's like.'

David shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Funny that this was probably how Dylan was feeling earlier when David was interrogating him with questions. David stood up and picked up his blue tea cup off the table, he placed it in the dishwasher and turned to Louise, who was still sat on the sofa clearly expecting some sort of reply from David.

'Look, I appreciate your concern Louise. But there's nothing going on, Dylan is just struggling with letting Sanosi go and has distanced himself a bit. It's no big deal, I'm sure he will talk to me when he's ready.' David gave a reassuring smile to Louise who still did not look convinced.

'The kid left ages ago though, how is Dylan still caught up on it. I thought he only cared about dogs.' Louise replied.

'Well, it's not up to us to decide how people should react to situations is it?' David responded. He walked over to his locker and got his bag. He pulled his bag over his shoulder and shut the locker placing the key in his pocket. Louise was still sat staring at him.

'Maybe we should just try and be there for Dylan, instead of calling him out whenever he is having a difficult time.' David stated quite firmly. He gave Louise a smile and left the staff room.

The evening air was extremely chilly as David walked out of the ED. He breathed a big sigh in and as he exhaled he could see the breath in front of his face. He put his hat on and continued to walk through the car park. The night shift were just starting to arrive and he waved across the car park to Alicia and Ethan who were walking in together. They both gave enthusiastic waves back. David smiled to himself, he did feel truly happy here, and the happiest he had felt in a long while. He liked Holby and more importantly, he had fallen back in love with his work again, which for him was very important. It's the love of his work that caused his wife to leave him, it's not that David did not love his family, he did. However, work was somewhere he could just be himself and help other people, which is all he ever wanted to do from a young age. David crossed the road over towards the canal, the street lights were reflecting on the water, it made for quite a pretty scene. He stood by the railings of the canal and stared at the water. He heard footsteps coming towards him and turned his head to see who was passing. It was Dylan. The doctor was wearing his long grey coat, with the collar pulled up to his cheeks.

'You look like you've seen a ghost.' Dylan said to David.

David was flustered. He hadn't expected to see Dylan tonight, especially after what had happened earlier in the day.

'I errr, no, I'm just err surprised to see you.' David struggled to get his reply out.

Dylan nodded his head. He looked to the ground and kicked a stone about with his shoe.

'I thought maybe, I'd walk home with you. It's been a while.' Dylan was still looking at the ground as he finished speaking. His hand clutched around his brown leather briefcase.

David smiled.

'Of course.' He replied.

Dylan shifted his gaze to David's face, which smiled back at him.

'Good. Well you can wipe that silly grin off your face now then. You look like a Cheshire cat.' Dylan stated.

David laughed at this remark, glad to see his friend's abrupt manner was still intact. The two men turned and walked side by side along the canal. For a while neither of them spoke, the only sounds were that of traffic in the distance and their shoes hitting the slightly frozen ground. David didn't mind walking home without speaking to Dylan but he felt that his friend was relaxed enough now to try and ask him some questions.

'How are you?' David turned and asked Dylan.

'Well, you know, better than when you last saw me.' Dylan replied looking dead ahead of him with a fixed gaze.

David nodded.

'It's nothing to be ashamed of Dylan. What happened earlier, it happens to all of us.' Said David. He didn't expect Dylan to respond to this. He was just reassuring the doctor.

They had reached the part in the walk home where they both parted and went their separate ways. Both men turned to face each other.

'I've chucked all the alcohol away David. There's nothing left.' Dylan said.

'Well, I'm glad. But Dylan, please go and see someone, you know as a doctor how easy it is to be drawn back into stuff again.' David replied with a hint of concern in his voice.

Dylan didn't respond. He looked out towards the marina, David watched as his friends eyes looked over all the boats until he found his own. Some of the tension seemed to drop from Dylan's face as he spotted his boat; David thought this probably had something to do with the fact that he would soon be reunited with Dervla.

David cleared his throat, causing Dylan to turn back towards him.

'Look you know where I am Dylan and I'm always on the end of the phone.' David stated.

Dylan gave a slight smile and headed off towards his home.

David watched for a few seconds until the doctor was out of sight and then he turned to walk home. He knew that Dylan would probably never ring him; in fact, the only time David had received a call from Dylan was when the doctor had fallen through a boat and had dislocated his knee. David was happy that Dylan had spoken to him tonight, but it felt that Dylan had said he had got rid of the alcohol just to appease David. As harsh as it was, David wouldn't believe Dylan wasn't touching alcohol unless he saw it with his own eyes. David also recalled that Dylan had not mentioned anything about getting rid of the tramadol he seemed to be protective over. Dylan was clearly still keeping his cards to his chest but surely today had been a slight progress. David liked to think so anyway. He could live in hope.


	7. Chapter 7

**Note:**

Sorry for the delay in posting. Uni work is becoming increasingly heavy so that's sadly become my priority at the moment. However, I would like to say thank you for the continuing reviews and thanks to anyone who reads. Please leave some reviews to let me know it's worthwhile haha! Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter, there will be more coming soon! Much love.

 **Chapter 7**

A few days had passed since Dylan had asked David if he could walk home with him. Since that night, David had three days off from work and had not seen or spoken to anyone from the ED. As predicted he had no phone calls or messages from Dylan, but the nurse thought that this was probably a good thing as if David did find a missed call from Dylan, it would probably be something to be concerned about; it definitely would not be Dylan asking David to come round and play chess.

David had awoken early on his last day off. He had decided he would take a walk into Holby and pick up a few bits of shopping that he needed to get. He also needed to pop in to the chemist and get his prescription. He left his house at around ten o'clock and took the same route into Holby that he and Dylan had walked home on three nights previously. David liked walking down the canal. The still water always calmed him and he loved seeing the houseboats moored up with people sat having their breakfasts or reading. The cold weather was finally starting to lift and David actually managed to get quite hot as he walked. The sky was a clear blue and, with hardly any wind, it was definitely starting to feel like a rather nice winter's day.

Taking a path off the canal, David walked up onto the high street of Holby. It was not yet busy; David had purposely left early so that he would not be caught in the lunchtime rush. David did not have a problem with chaos and crowds, he worked in the ED after all, but on his days off, he would rather spend them in a more peaceful manner. He walked past a woman who was trying to sell insurance to people and headed for the chemist. The amount of time David seemed to spend in this building was alarming, but he would rather spend time here collecting his medication than sitting in a mental health unit. He popped his new tablets straight into his bumbag and headed back out onto the high street.

As David was walking past the local café, he noticed Iain and Sam walking out holding some coffees. They both looked tired and David presumed that they were not far off finishing their night shift. Iain gave a smile and said a quick hello to David. He then preceded to walk back to the ambulance, which was parked just down the road. Sam motioned that she would catch Iain up.

'Rough night?' asked David with a knowing smile on his face.

'How could you tell?' Sam asked with a slight chuckle. 'By the bags under my eyes or the fact that I'm starting to shake slightly with the amount of coffee I have consumed over the past few hours?'

David laughed.

'Actually David, there was something I needed to ask you about.' Sam said gently.

David looked at Sam somewhat confused. He got on with Sam well whenever they were working together and they would always speak if they saw each other outside of work. But he couldn't understand what Sam would need to have a word with him about, particularly as he hadn't been at work for a few days.

'I'm all ears.' David replied.

'It's about Dylan actually. I didn't know if you had heard what happened yesterday?' she asked with concern in her voice.

David's heart sank. He wanted the ground to swallow him up. He wanted to run straight back down the canal and go straight to Dylan's boat and see if he was ok. He squeezed his hands into tight balls to stop the panic rising in him.

'No. I haven't heard anything. What's gone off?' He asked Sam cautiously.

'Well I know you're close with Dylan so I thought you should know that he turned up to work hungover yesterday. And I don't just mean a bit rough, I mean I think he was still slightly drunk.'

David didn't know what to say. He stared off down the high street.

'I just didn't know whether he had been in touch with you. Ethan sent him home during that shift and no one has heard anything from him since. I've tried getting in touch as well, but, well you know a bit about our history anyway.' Sam said with a tinge of sadness in her voice. She placed her hand on David's arm, which brought his attention back to her. He sighed.

'I don't know what else to do Sam. I've tried reaching out to him but he just won't listen.'

'I know. He isolates himself until it's too late. Always does.' She replied.

David was in two minds to mention the tramadol to Sam, she hadn't mentioned anything about it though and if Dylan was already in trouble with being practically drunk at work then he hardly thought raising the issue would help matters.

'Sam!' Iain called from out the window of the ambulance. 'We've got a shout!'

Sam acknowledged Iain's call and turned back to face David. She let out a sigh.

'Look, all we can do now is be there for him when he needs us again.' She gave David a faint smile, gave a gentle rub of his arm, and turned back towards the ambulance.

Although the sun was still out, David felt remarkably colder than when he walked into town. The happiness he had felt also seemed to have drained out of him. He suddenly noticed how busy the high street was now and immediately wanted to be somewhere other than where he was at this moment in time. He headed for home, with an invisible weight that seemed to have attached itself onto his shoulders.


	8. Chapter 8

**Note:**

Hello again lovelies. Firstly, huge apologies with how long this has taken, I have just been so busy with uni and until May when I finally finish, I'm just not going to be able to update as much. Hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know what you think, I struggled writing it as it involves flashbacks, I could see it all happening in my head but I'm not sure if it makes sense when I've written it, so please do let me know what you think! Thanks again guys X

 **Chapter 8**

David was aware that he was cold. At that moment in time, that is all his brain could comprehend. He could hear voices around him, but they sounded like they were a million miles away, he could not catch what they were saying to him. The nurse tried to establish if he was dreaming, but he knew he wasn't. He had left the house that night in a rush, but for the life of him, he could not remember why. His brain swirled as he tried to figure out what was going on, but a tiredness seemed to overcome him and he gave in to the darkness that swallowed his whole being. He lay still.

*2 Hours Earlier*

The empty dishes from dinner sat on the worktop. David wasn't in the mood to wash them up. He stared over at them from the sofa where he sat comfortably with a blanket on top of him; it had dropped chilly during the day. He turned his head back to the television where the weatherman continued to tell of a coming snowstorm that was set to cover Holby overnight and over the coming days. David sighed, he knew he had got his hopes up about the cold weather making way for spring. Finding the television remote that had slipped onto the floor, David picked it up and turned the telly off. He went over to the sink and began to run some hot water into the washing up bowl. As he washed the dishes, David looked out of his kitchen window, flakes of snow were slowly starting to fall and the wind was picking up. Suddenly a noise distracted David from peering outside. His phone was buzzing on the dining room table. The nurse frowned and looked at the clock on the wall, who would be phoning him at half 11 in the evening. He dried his hands quickly and wondered over to pick up his phone. The display screen flashed with a name that brought David a very bad feeling in his stomach. Dylan was ringing. David started to panic. Dylan never rang anyone unless it was an emergency. David swiped his finger across the screen and answered the phone, trying to sound as calm as possible.

'Hello' David spoke.

'David, David, David' Dylan was shouting down the phone.

David struggled to hear what was going on as there was so much shouting going on the other end. Dylan's voice kept cracking.

'Dylan, what's going on? Are you ok?' David asked a bit more urgently.

'David, kicking me out they are can you believe this- yeah alright then have your stupid remote back- absolute bunch of morons the lot of them.' Dylan shouted again.

'Dylan, where are you? Dylan?' David heard a large thump and a break of glass that caused concern to rush through his body.

'Honestly David, what a stupid bunch, WHO WANTS TO WATCH A BUNCH OF MEN KICK AN INFLATED BAG OF AIR AROUND ANYWAY' Dylan raised his voice at this last bit causing panic to fly through David.

'Right Dylan, where are you? I'll come pick you up' David spoke forcefully; he needed to get Dylan out of there before he got himself beaten up.

'Just at the Horse and Jockey having a night cap, no need to collect me, I'm not a chi-'.

There was a large smash and the phone went silent. David tried redialling but no one answered the phone. Without hesitation, he grabbed his wallet, pocketed his phone and ran outside into the cold night.

*Actual Time*

Someone kept shaking him. David just wanted to tell them to go away. He just wanted to sleep. The voices grew louder again, and as they did so, David became aware of a dull throbbing at the side of his head. That is why he wanted to sleep. From what he could gather when he was asleep, it didn't hurt. Deep down though, he knew something was wrong. The voices grew louder still and he was vaguely aware of someone saying his name, the pain grew worse causing him to grimace. He wanted to keep his eyes closed though. Why should he open them? He started to feel a cold feeling sweep over his body, it was like his senses were only just registering what was going on around him. Again, someone was saying his name, the voice sounded familiar to David. It was a soft voice that made him feel at ease. David was so lost, he was just aware that the pain in his head was getting worse. He slowly started to open his eyes. A blurry set of images were in front of him, the yellow of a street light and the flashing blue lights, that registered deep down in his subconscious letting him know that something had gone desperately wrong. He felt sick, he wanted to close his eyes again, but as he did so, a hand rested under his face and told him not to shut his eyes. He looked up and saw a blurry image of Sam. He tried to keep his eyes open for her, but he was drained and the effort was too much. He felt a mask be placed on his face before he once again gave into the sleepy feeling that overcame him.

*One Hour Ago*

David ran as fast as he could. The icy wind whipped up around him, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows as they usually were. His waistcoat was buttoned shut but it did not help keep out the cold. The nurse cursed himself for not picking up his coat as he left his house. Faster and faster he ran, his lungs burning, he couldn't stop running though. He turned down onto the path that ran next to the canal and ran up into the centre of Holby, the very route he had taken on his shopping trip this morning. The Horse and Jockey was a well know pub in Holby and a favourite with the hospital staff. He had briefly thought about messaging the work group chat to see if anyone was enjoying a drink their but he thought that would just make matters worse for Dylan. The nurse came off the canal and into the high street of Holby. He ran straight across the road, past some students being sick in a bin and turned down a little side street. The entrance of the pub was just up from here. David took a moment to catch his breath; sweat was starting to form on his forehead. He walked towards the pub and took out his phone, trying to ring Dylan one more time. There was no answer.

As he grew closer to the entrance of the pub, he could hear the joy of people inside, karaoke was clearly on tonight. He decided to walk round to the side entrance as it looked particularly busy by the front door and the nurse didn't want to be pushing past everyone. He walked to the side of the pub and up towards the door when he saw a silhouette of someone lying up against some beer barrels. David's heart thumped. He felt cold and he knew it had nothing to do with the snow.

'Dyl-' His voice caught in his throat. That couldn't be Dylan surely.

Deep down David knew it was.

David sprinted towards the lifeless body.

'Dylan, Dylan!' David shouted, frantically urging his friend to regain consciousness.

He placed his fingers at Dylan's neck and felt a pulse, but David noticed there was blood down Dylan's shirt. David had no choice but to call for help. He reached into his pocket and dialled 999. The operator answered and David gave the injuries that he could see, of Dylan's. He was just about to stand up and go into the pub to get some towels to try to stem the bleeding when he felt a sharp pain at the back of his head. The nurse was aware he dropped his phone, but after that, everything went black, as though he was slipping into a dream.

*Actual Time*

It was a rocking motion that seemed to alert David that he had been out again. The throbbing in his head was still there, although it was not as bad as it had been earlier. He felt warmer and was aware of a mask that was covering his face. He slowly opened his eyes, immediately noticing the inside of an ambulance. Sam looked down at him.

'How are you feeling David?' She asked gently.

David just looked at her, he still couldn't figure out what had happened. One minute he had been helping Dylan- he had been helping Dylan. David immediately tried to sit up and pulled the oxygen mask off his face.

'Dylan, where is he? Is he ok?' He almost shouted at Sam, trying to convey how important this was.

'David just lie back down; just concentrate on you for now.'

'Sam, is he ok?' David shouted at her.

Her face was etched with worry. She looked at David and sighed.

'He's in the ED right now, it's the best place for him.'

She pushed David back down onto the stretcher and placed the oxygen mask back over his face. David's head has started to throb again. He reached his hand up to the source of the pain only to be met with a large soft bandage covering the spot. He felt dried blood down the side of his face and grimaced. He looked up at Sam who glanced back down at him. Tears started to form in David's eyes as he thought of Dylan and how he had not been able to help him. He needed to make sure he was ok. Sam placed her hand in David's and he gripped on tightly. Whatever had happened over the recent hours, he was glad that he and Dylan had been picked up by the right people.


End file.
